Today..

My New Year Resolution--or just one of the things I would like to incorporate into my daily life (I swear calling something a "resolution" automatically dooms it to failure!!)--is to actually write in this journal of sorts. So, as I lay awake at 2 am (because I already broke one 'resolution'--caffeine consumption...see, I should never have called it that..), I decided I might as well do something meaningful after watching 2+ hours of worthless television.

How did I see the Lord's hand in my life today....

~I had a good friend, Keelee, come to the temple with me this morning. Without her commitment there's no way I would have struggled out of bed this morning and made it there.

~The Lord gave me strength through the scriptures today. And through a very untraditional-type verse too. The verse talked of Nephi and his family in the wilderness and how they (I'm paraphrasing) 'were strong like unto the men, that they could bear their journeyings without murmuring'. I thought, I need that same strengthening power-- not physically, but spiritually. So that I can bear my journey and the situation with the boys, and Lia, and all the stresses and patience it requires. I must say, I have not been able to bear it without complaint all the time. But The Lord can make me strong. And I know He will.

~Amelia was kind enough to take Ethan off my hands and pick up Dylan from school today. I had a nice day and got to play the piano! I memorized a whole page-and-a-half of Rachmaninoff's Prelude in c# minor. It felt good to play again. I think my fingers and ears have been craving it.

~We didn't buy our plane tickets to South Africa yet, and Ryan realized that the dates we were choosing would have made him withdraw from his class! Now we can buy them for the right dates. He answered the prayer I offered this morning

~I felt happy tonight. I felt the joy of having three sweet little spirits in our home. I wish I could soak it all in more often. But I felt it tonight.

~We got to spend the evening with my siblings. Amelia, Denise, and I laughed and talked about music, etc, etc. I got to play "Twin Soul" for them. Amelia said it brought tears to her eyes! We just felt so comfortable with each other and happy together. I think the Lord has brought us closer through all of this. I truly have a wonderful, happy, kind, easy going family. It's really nice not to have drama

I think I'm seeing that I could go on and on. There is much to be grateful for. The Lord give me a lot of little pleasures and happy times. I better stop now so that I can keep my perception of this to something I can actually maintain on a daily basis. I know myself too well. Three paragraphs or nothing at all... I'm trying to get out of the all-or-nothing mindset. And I'm also trying not to feel so guilty for everything anymore. But I'm definitely NOT making that one a resolution. I really think this one needs to stick!

So Blessed

Under the blog title, I have quoted President Henry B Eyring from a conference talk he gave a year ago. I loved this talk, and it really touched me. I felt impressed that the habit of writing down daily the witness of the Lord's hand in my life was something I should start. And now, a year later, after I just listened to conference again, I have started this blog as an effort to do so.

I have also wanted to see how I'm growing and changing and to see what I am learning from my life's experiences. The past few months have been overwhelming--not necessarily in a bad way though. I've been able to take the boys into my home and try to love them and teach them --and the situation is such that Lia can finally get some help for her mental illness. I've prayed for this for years. There were seriously very few days that went by over the last three years in which I didn't fervently beg the Lord to create a situation in which she could get some help. And He did. I really couldn't ask for a greater miracle. It's a real-life miracle!!! It's easy to forget that on hard stressful days. I have to remember that the Lord's time is different than ours. Two months to Him is like a blink of an eye, and for me, it seems like an eternity. Especially knowing how much longer it will still be. But that's why I titled this blog "remember, remember...." It's so easy to forget. To forget where we came from, why we're really here; it's easy to forget about our Savior even though we PROMISE every single week that we will remember Him always! And it's easy to forget the wonderful experiences and blessings we experience every day.

In fact, we can't remember unless we recognize them in the first place. And so if we are looking, we will see. I will see the hand of the Lord in my life every single day. And I hope that by my recording such recognition, that my sweet children will be able to see it as well.