Today..

My New Year Resolution--or just one of the things I would like to incorporate into my daily life (I swear calling something a "resolution" automatically dooms it to failure!!)--is to actually write in this journal of sorts. So, as I lay awake at 2 am (because I already broke one 'resolution'--caffeine consumption...see, I should never have called it that..), I decided I might as well do something meaningful after watching 2+ hours of worthless television.

How did I see the Lord's hand in my life today....

~I had a good friend, Keelee, come to the temple with me this morning. Without her commitment there's no way I would have struggled out of bed this morning and made it there.

~The Lord gave me strength through the scriptures today. And through a very untraditional-type verse too. The verse talked of Nephi and his family in the wilderness and how they (I'm paraphrasing) 'were strong like unto the men, that they could bear their journeyings without murmuring'. I thought, I need that same strengthening power-- not physically, but spiritually. So that I can bear my journey and the situation with the boys, and Lia, and all the stresses and patience it requires. I must say, I have not been able to bear it without complaint all the time. But The Lord can make me strong. And I know He will.

~Amelia was kind enough to take Ethan off my hands and pick up Dylan from school today. I had a nice day and got to play the piano! I memorized a whole page-and-a-half of Rachmaninoff's Prelude in c# minor. It felt good to play again. I think my fingers and ears have been craving it.

~We didn't buy our plane tickets to South Africa yet, and Ryan realized that the dates we were choosing would have made him withdraw from his class! Now we can buy them for the right dates. He answered the prayer I offered this morning

~I felt happy tonight. I felt the joy of having three sweet little spirits in our home. I wish I could soak it all in more often. But I felt it tonight.

~We got to spend the evening with my siblings. Amelia, Denise, and I laughed and talked about music, etc, etc. I got to play "Twin Soul" for them. Amelia said it brought tears to her eyes! We just felt so comfortable with each other and happy together. I think the Lord has brought us closer through all of this. I truly have a wonderful, happy, kind, easy going family. It's really nice not to have drama

I think I'm seeing that I could go on and on. There is much to be grateful for. The Lord give me a lot of little pleasures and happy times. I better stop now so that I can keep my perception of this to something I can actually maintain on a daily basis. I know myself too well. Three paragraphs or nothing at all... I'm trying to get out of the all-or-nothing mindset. And I'm also trying not to feel so guilty for everything anymore. But I'm definitely NOT making that one a resolution. I really think this one needs to stick!